14th October 2008

Its been a long time since october 19th. I wouldnt really remember the date that we broke up, only it was a friends birthday, and the next day was monday, school wasnt so easy i must tell you. Everybody fanning around me, i just wanted to be alone, crawl in a corner and sit there.

I know i still love him, and its a bit confusing because i mainly miss him as a best friend, ever since he got a new girlfriend, we havent talked at all. so thats kinda crap. He was everything to me, but ive got me now, and hes happy and thats really all i care about. Although, i am a bit pissed that my best friends seems to talk to him tons more than i do. It doesnt feel it should be that way. We both promise best friends no matter what .. promise was broken.

I took us finishing really badly, i know, but i suppose you could have done it better, a little less cliche, more to my face. Maybe you didnt want to see me cry, cause it would of hurt you, and thats the last thing i wanted. Thanks. For some of the best times.

We beat life and everyone around us, then it got the better of us. Or you found out you still liked her. After you brought her to Hull Fair, i got totally the wrong impression of her - quiet, shy. Ha sure! Two days after, you finished me out of the blue. I just couldnt go on, my world crumbled, after everything you said to me, i dont believe it if anybody says it to me now, i just think yeh sure, thats what the last one told me. Sorry x

Aside from that. OMG Rob Pattinson!!!!!!!!!! Im not even jokin when i say im in love with a book character!!!!! (L) Edward Cullen is hot, and perfect!!!! Ive read all the twilight books and half of midnight sun - on stepheniemeyer.com MIDNIGHT SUN AMAZINNNNNNNNNN!!!!!
I LOVE THEM ALL
Its my little escape place woooooo going to see twilight AGAIN .. 11th time

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jemsterrrrrrrr

Well, erm how do i start well ill bullet point everything cause im a bit sad n upset atm .. STILL i mean why should i be it was 2 days ago, ohh maybe cause i love him :S

* me n danny split up
* im confused
* im lost
* days just drift by
* i have cried almost none stop since sunday night.

i dont know what to do, well i know id do anything, but i duno what to do with myself, i just used to live for the weekends wen id see him. me n him together. all i want is us to work this out

theres just no understanding :S

HHHHEEEEELLLPPPP

Jemma

Listening To - Breakeven by The Script .. on .. REPLAY

Worked all weekend.

Pissed off, upset, confused. I didnt think i was going to cry tonight, but its happened. Cause of the song above obviously. It means alot to me and reminds me of my everything <3

I dont know what the hell is going on though :@ aarrrggghhh

I love you danny, i really do. I hope we're ok x <3

Steph Crane, shes a legend, thanks for being there through everything babes

Tonight was the best!!

I went to Hull Fair with my best friends and amazing boyfriend. I didnt think I could love him anymore, but then he kisses me and i fall even further in love with him. I just love you so much baby, you are my world <3

Loadsa rides, brandy snap, coca cola and holding hands. Most of my evening summed up in 9 words .

James lost his wallet!!! Shit.

I am so close to tears right now .. oh wait i am in tears. I miss Danny so much, I dont feel complete without him.

I LOVE YOU DANNY XXXXXXX <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Jemma x

Smile Day

My birthday todayy , I got a digital camera, lots of money, a book, a joky washing up brush from my brother, a top, some jewellery, 2 pairs of slippers, one pair of warm socks, a new hat and some chocs

James was back at school today after most of the week off !!!

Hull Fair Tomorrow!!
That means im seeing Danny, n that makes me happier than anything!!! , i really do miss him and i cant wait to have a great big hug. And theres one thing he doesnt know .. i dont dream anymore .. cause all my dreams have come true <3

I LOVE YOU BABE <3 XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
See you tomorrow

Just watching Katie and Peter the next chapter .. love it haha

Well, i gotta tidy my room now cause Jade, Amy and Becky are coming over tomorrow after school to get ready for Hull Fair .. mateee!!!

Loves xx

Evening .. It is soooo my birthday tomorrow and I cant wait, im getting a digital camera, and ive found my present but there rapped!! Grrrr they feels quite interesting, but not iteresting in the sexual way just .. interseting, woo Hairspray is on!!!

What am I doing now?

Well, im sat eating 'pringles', i say pringle there not really pringles, just sorta like pringles. Anyway, enough about the damn potato chips.

Today was a Wednesday, a bit of a bore considering its the middle of the week and doesnt know what to do with itself. Just stranded in between last week and next week.

Biology - Well, I got made to do all the giving out, collecting in, answering most of the questions. Just because its my birthday tomorrow [queue cheesey happy birthday song]. Well,we did about drugs today .. although it wasnt really drugs .. more caffine. Oh .. the caffine!! I had to drink a glass of coke .. decaffe, and then see what my reactions were, and to be honest .. i went hyper of decaffe. Shows how much CocaCola know!!!

English - Oh my. My teacher, Mr Ladbury, is hilarious, and starts huge seist duscussion, but because the class has a great bond, they arent really sexist just more of a laugh and its a blast! I love English, especially since we are doing Sherlock Holmes .. ohh and what reallys gets me is the endings!! The story builds up to some great mistery, absolutely brilliant, descriptive and makes the reader want more, then it turns out to be a snake coming through a vent!! Or Holmes knew exactly what was going on to start with [smart arse]

MSN - After the sports club I run, I got home. I was rather bored so I went on the Wii with my brother .. but soon came off because he put on Lego Star Wars ,, YES I HATE IT!!!, well the game is fun but he never lets me collect the coins or go where i went .. I wasnt even allowed to put the white trooper hat thingy on!! Shocking. Anyways .. i finally got on msn and im talking to my amazing boyfriend , we have only been together 11 days, but it feels like months, im not in anyway saying its a drag, i just wouldnt mind being with him for longer and longer everyday . [First song of hairspray is on(good morning baltimore), even though im singing 'breakeven' by the script .. who im going to see in November at leeds academy] Anyway get back to the subject, i love you babe , cant wait for friday, it may pass quick but then itll be quicker to see you next friday. I LIVE FOR THE WEEKENDS .. just to see you (L)

I love you

Jemma x

Daniel George Smedley

Yes, you are my world babe

Now Danny is my boyfriend, and i love him more than anything. He is gorgeous and funny. But the thing i love most about him - he treats me like im the only girl on earth. He is the most wonderful guy, and I couldnt ask for anything more.

I met him a year ago, whilst my best boy buddy, James, was at his house. Danny is James' cousin and we started talking for a while. Then after the new year began we didnt talk for a while. Then James wsa back around Danny's again and the only time i talked to him was when i asked him if James was there. Then we went to [w] and we started flirting abit. And a bit more, then finally he told me he really liked me. I was thrilled because i really liked him aswell. That was a month ago now, and weve been together around 10 days.

And tbh, I wouldnt mind beng with him for the rest of my life, hes the one for me i know it. Maybe if he reads this he'll get frightened off, but thats the way i feel

I love you babe
<3 xxxxxxx

Ok, so i guess i'll have to start by introducing my dear self.
Im Jemma, im 14 and live in East Yorkshire. I must warn you, that these blogs will go into as much detail as needs be - depends on my mood really. I have an amazing boyfriend called Danny Smedley and im in love with him like no other.
I am studying German, Art and History in Year 10, which i suppose is ok .. can be boring when my best guy mate, James, is ill, and im left stranded in a room full of complete and utter dumbass'.
I have a huge crush on David Tenannt, he is absolutey gorgeous and very sexy.

I am very pissed off with Hollyoaks at the moment. It is an amazing soap, but i just want everyone to get out alive, Nial is a physco and and i dont want anyone to die. Hes a horrible man and its annoying, however much i scream at the tv, it doesnt seem to get in their heads that its Nial who is killing everyone.

Im in love with my very wonderful boyfriend, Danny. He is everything to me, and i cant ask for anything more. Although i must admit, people wernt that keen on me and him getting together because they thought he was using me for sex, but he would never do that. Anyway, I have my own voice, i can say no.

My birthday in two days

Hmm something you might need to know. I, used to, self harm. It was an escape, a way to stop my feelings. And no i dont have some big problem in my life, its just the little things that build up until you get so frustrated that you cannot control it. Its like a drug, or smoking, its so addictive. Once you start, you cant stop, it the only way. See, i started the beginning of year 9, September ther 14th as a matter of fact, and still a year on after time and time telling myself i wont do it again, I do it the odd time. Now i know ill sound like some sort of emo/goth freak, but i really arent. Ever since I found Danny, the thought hasnt even crossed my mind, I just tell him everything and all my troubles go away. I love him, he is my rock <3

Well for now, that it the end, I will add more.

Byee x